I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
