Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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