Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize