so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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