Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
