matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How naked do you want me to be?
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