She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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