If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
