Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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