ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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