dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Where is the hickey?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
