Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize