He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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