I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
