We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
