i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
