Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(361): View more from Texas

I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.

(1-361): View more from Texas

Def the best call fo sho

(361): View more from Texas

That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?

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(904): View more from Florida

You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.

Fav 4 2273 984
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(818): View more from California

in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man

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(561): View more from Florida

I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.

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