just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
