okay pat passed out under dana's car
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize