We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
