I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
