She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My dick has a subreddit
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
