I look better un-naked...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
