I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
