I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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