is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
