I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
