No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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