So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
