my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
