dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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