Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
As shirtless as possible
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
