my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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