So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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