i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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