and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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