So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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