I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
