So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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