Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
