How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
