Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
