i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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