i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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