You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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