sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
