she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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