Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry eyynery hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.

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(513): View more from Ohio

sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.

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(205): View more from Alabama

She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...

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(250): View more from British Columbia

This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

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(410): View more from Maryland

YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

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(602): View more from Arizona

literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.

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(765): View more from Indiana

According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.

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