I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i think i just lost a toe
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
