You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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