Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
