I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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