I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
vagina is talking i cant
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
