New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it's like iHOP with fire
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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