I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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