Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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