theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize