why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
