God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
