I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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