Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
