Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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