I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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