This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
