i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
All I want is dick and wine.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
