Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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