New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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