He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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