i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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