There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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