Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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