You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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