doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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