we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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