chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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