Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
