party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
