Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
