someone get that fucking seahorse.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
